seriously i think my blog is rotting haha... actualli it doesnt take much time to blog even everydae... but i guess ill just pen down the more impt thots...

yestrdae some stuff happened and it caused me to think abt some things... some not so gd memories... i remember how my dad n mum quarrelled over monetary issues and kinda got seperated until my dad realised he had cancer... it must have been kinda hard for my dad... one brought up with the stereotypes that the guy should be the head of the household and that the guy shld contribute more to the household income... when my mum lent 20k to my uncle and told him it should not concern my dad since it was her money... i guess he was helpless and perhaps very much in anguish for earning much lesser than my mum... not that i felt that my mum was wrongin lending my uncle money to tide him over the crisis he was facing... but my dad must have gone thru tough times too...

sometimes i feel very hard pressed not to repeat wad happened to my dad... i study hard in hope that ill have a high enuf income... an income that is up to expectations of not myself, but more of to satisfy the expectations of those arnd me... gonna go for the teachg award interview nxt week... n i aint even sure i realli wanna be a teacher... its realli more for the money i guess, n the conflicts i can escape from with this money, at least for some time i hope...

perhaps its just me... a very stingy person who does not like to spend... i cant live with the idea that ill soon be broke and just go ahead spending, without knowing for sure that money will be coming in for me... n i just dun like to take money from my mum... cuz its realli hard earned money since shes taking 2 jobs...

i see tough times ahead when i am in year 3 unless i get the teaching award... n have overcome great obstacles to have a very great relationship now, one that i hope will go all the way... then again i shall not think too much, since its just some random thots.