hmm... recently i have been thinking this man... n i was wonderg whether my theory abt how this thg can improve relationships between frens, lovers, parent n kids n stuff... so here goes...

recently i realise... for a relationship to go to the next step... verbal acknowledgement towards effort to a relationship is very impt... its like not onli is verbal acknowledgement impt... by wad standards shld we use to gauge effort?? lets say a mother has a lazy son who never finishes his tuition homewk... usually completing juz half of it... say after many weeks of nagging, he decided to put in more effort but he onli finished say 75% of his work... although he still has not completed his work but no doubt he made a significant effort to improve... should e the mother praise him?? or continue scolding him for having not completetd his wk again?? by the mum's standards, its perhaps simply basic requirement that his son finishes all his wk... so e 25% increase in completion is by no means somethg worth praising perhaps... however if the son remembered wad his mum sai, proceeded to try n do more but still havent complete it but he never receives praise (acknowledgemt) or even worse gets scolded again, there is a possibility this one little incident will cause his to feel there is no pt tryg... this is becuz by the son's standards, he has exceeded his own standards... so i guess we shld weigh an effort thru the person's capabilities and standards and not our own standards...

in a way we study this in new media... the acknowledgemt is wad i will call "feedback"... have there been times when we press a lift button n the light is spoilt we start feeling perturbed over whether the lift button was sucessfully pressed... so we need the button to light up... if there is a lift that alwaz have tis prob... we might not take that lift again becuz its irritatg to be in suspense whether the lift is spoilt or wad... so acknowledgemnt and feedback will bring abt appreciation and reassurance in a relationship... like a husband might feel that his wife is spendg too much but if she spends like 800 instead of 1k for that month on clothes and accessory, by the wife;s standards, she has improved... maybe the husband is silently happy abt this but if he keeps mum, his wife might be less encouraged to cut her spendg... cuz everyone loves praise...

however, this links us to start to wonder, so muz i reassure and say thanx for everythg that the other party do?? isnt it very unrealistic to praise every small thg that he or she does?? perhaps alwaz saying these thgs are very tiring 2... n maybe everytime will be unecessary... but once every while might be a gd amount i think? or izzit not?? hahaha... n we must think that if a person is expectg praise every time, the person providing praise might be very stressed becuz once praise is not given when the party is expectg it, there might be conflict... hence i feel we shld not be overly upset when we have indeed did somethg that have exceeded our own standards but are not praised... so tats all... may ya relationships benefit frm this entry!!!